Aloha Oe
by ballistics belle
Summary: "Is this the part where I'm supposed to get all weepy and declare my everlasting love for you?" "No I think this is the part where I sweep you up into my arms and lay the climatic kiss on you and ask you to wait for me." Established Steve/Danny
1. Until We Meet Again

**Author's note: **Aloha Oe is otherwise known as the Hawaiian farewell song. I thought it was fitting. Established Steve/Danny.

_One fond embrace ere I depart, Until we meet again~ Aloha Oe (Hawaiian Farewell Song)_

* * *

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'? It wasn't a question." Steve looked at Danny bewildered by his partner's response.

"I don't care, my answer is no, you're not going." Danny stated firmly.

"Danny, this isn't a request- it's an order."

"I don't care if it's a freaking calling from God. There's no way that you're going back over there." Danny was getting more and more upset which meant that Steve was slowly losing the battle of trying to talk about this rationally.

"This was always a possibility as long as we are in a time of war. They called my SEAL unit back into active duty. I have to go." Steve

"What? Are you the only SEAL unit out there? There has to be other people qualified to go. You already served your time faithfully and honorably. It's not fair of them to call you back now." Danny's hand chopped through the air harshly. "And why do they need a SEAL unit anyways? It's a goddamn desert!" He had gone off into full blown rant mood by this point.

"I have to go." Steve said again quietly and a little bit of the fight left the other man.

"Then I'll go with you." Danny declared. Steve hung his head. This was beginning to sound more like an argument with Grace.

"You know that's impossible."

"Ya? Well then who the hell is going to protect you when you go and try to be the stupid, heroic jerk and take out the threat without back-up?" The detective said almost accusingly.

"I'll have a whole team with me."

"But they're not me." Danny stated simply and suddenly this over-exaggeration of emotions made a little more sense. After the number of life and death situations that he had put the two of them in and come out of (somewhat) unscathed, Danny didn't trust anyone else but him (and the team) to 'be the backup'.

"They're good men." Steve said, but his partner was not reassured.

"Like Taylor was a good man?" He accused.

"Danny…."

"Whatever. I clearly don't matter when it comes to this. I'm just your partner and the guy you supposedly love." Danny shot back. A hurt look came across Steve's face but he didn't stick around long enough to see it as he stormed off towards the bedroom.

He knew it wasn't fair to say that to Steve. He did know that he didn't have a choice in the matter. The Navy had called just after they had gotten home that night to "inform Commander McGarrett that his SEAL unit was being deployed to Afghanistan at 0700 Monday morning" and it had just set something off in Danny. He had seen the look in Steve's eyes as he heard the details and something about it had told him that he was about to get his heart broken—again. This time he was going to prepare for it. He wouldn't be blindsided by it like he had been with Rachael. No, not again.

Danny yanked off his tie and threw it in the general direction of the laundry basket. He should have known better than to offer himself up to a military man but the truth was that he rarely thought of Steve as such. Sure he liked to tease him about being a super SEAL but it was in the same way that Steve teased him about Jersey. Both topics fell into the category of things that were in their pasts. Apparently Steve's military career wasn't quite past tense yet.

"Stupid Navy, stupid war, stupid desert…" He muttered as he kicked off his shoes and watched them land close enough to the closet. He continued to spew obscenities that would make a sailor (damn it, stupid Navy again) blush as he finished undressing and redressing in a t shirt and sweatpants.

"I don't want to go." Steve said, appearing in the doorway. "I don't want to leave you or the team or Grace or any part of the life that I have here. I know you all need me….but my country needs me too. It's a part of my life that I can't change—that I don't want to change. But I need your love and support if I'm going to get through it." Danny hung his head, unable to look at the raw emotion on his partner's face.

"You just had to have a rational explanation didn't you? You just know I can't argue with a rational explanation." Steve chuckled and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around the shorter man.

"I promise-"

"What happened to being rational? Don't you dare promise me anything. You can't promise me that you'll stay safe or that you won't die so don't even say it." Danny warned. Steve placed his head on top of Danny's.

"Can I ask you to promise me something?" Steve asked.

"That depends on what it is."

"Can you promise me not to be even more of a miserable bastard than you already are? I don't want to hear about Chin and Kono wanting to strangle you because you're being insufferable. And you have to take care of yourself for Grace's sake. She gonna have a hard enough time with this and she doesn't need your emotional baggage on top of it." Steve requested. "Don't make me worry about you."

"Psh we both know that I do all the worrying in this relationship…..but I'll somehow manage to survive without you." Danny grumbled into Steve's chest. Steve smiled sadly as he kissed the top of his head. He held on to the moment for as long as he could, not knowing when the next one would come along.

* * *

Steve McGarrett was not going to cry.

Everyone had come out to the airstrip to say goodbye before he left on his air transport to D.C. to meet up with the rest of his unit. Kono was crying, Danny had cried that morning (though he had vehemently denied it saying it was his allergies bothering him because really did there need to be so many flowers on this damn island?) and Chin was starting to look teary.

"Can I ask a favor?"

"Of course bro." Chin answered.

"Can at least one of you look like you're going to see me again?" He requested. Chin and Kono laughed and Danny attempted a smile. Steve looked down at his watch and realized that it was almost time to go. Kono caught this and stepped forward to give him a hug.

"Stay safe, Boss." She said softly. "Don't leave me here alone with these two for too long." She said with a wink. Chin stepped up next with a hug of his own.

"Aloha Oe." He said with a pat on the other man's back.

"Aloha Oe." Steve responded. He held Chin close for another second. "Keep an eye on Danny for me. Don't let him get too down. He's no good when his mind goes to dark places." Steve whispered to his friend. Chin nodded solemnly. Now the hard part.

"Is this the part where I'm supposed to get all weepy and declare my everlasting love for you?" Danny said deadpanned.

"No I think this is the part where I sweep you up into my arms and lay the climatic kiss on you and ask you to wait for me." Steve responded without missing a beat. Danny snorted.

"You will not make out with me in public…..and I will not wait for you without a big fat honkin' diamond." Danny shot back.

"Sorry no diamond." Steve shrugged. Danny sighed dramatically.

"You're a lousy boyfriend." He said as he wrapped his arms around him. Chin and Kono backed away to give the two a moment. "You didn't even put out before you left." Danny whined.

"I'll put out when I get back." Steve promised before turning serious. "Remember what you promised me."

"Ya ya I promise not to be an emotional wreck while you're gone. What would be extremely helpful is if you could keep from giving me something to worry about." Steve wanted to make a comment about how then he wouldn't be himself but decided against it. He pulled the shorter man in closer. "I love you Danny." He whispered into his blonde hair. He heard Danny mumbled something back. "What?"

"I said Danno loves you too." He repeated begrudgingly. It was totally worth it though to see the huge smile on Steve's face. It was that smile that would get him through the long nights ahead of him.


	2. What Do I Do With Me?

**Author's note: **WOW! I have never had this kind of response before! Thank you, you guys are wonderful and because you are so amazing I wanted to thank you with this second chapter. Hopefully you like it as much as the first. Danny's having a little trouble adjusting to life without Steve.

_And to tell myself that I'm doing fine is only making believe...without you, what do I do with me?~ Tayna Tucker, Without You (What Do I Do With Me?)_

* * *

Danny was good at following orders.

Steve had effectively ordered him not to be a pain in the ass while he was deployed and so far he had been the poster boy for good behavior. He rarely went off on one of his rants and played nice with the Governor who was constantly looking over his shoulder. She had allowed the taskforce to continue on in their leader's absence and had named Danny the lead but she was constantly checking up on him. Chin knew it bothered him to know that the Governor didn't fully trust his ability like she had Steve but Danny never complained.

It was starting to worry Chin in a way. It wasn't like the detective to be so subdued and calm. When he confronted Danny about it two weeks after Steve had left, Danny had simply told him that he had no need to rant because Steve wasn't trying to kill him on a daily basis. At the mention of his partner, his eyes dulled a little and he spent the rest of the afternoon in his office with the blinds closed.

Chin had promised Steve that he would look after Danny so he had decided to take him out for dinner and a couple beers to get him out of that big empty house. Danny had seemed depressed today. He tried to hide it but Chin could see the weariness in his body language and the dullness in his eyes.

"Why so bummed brah?" Chin asked as he swallowed his swig of beer.

"I haven't heard from Steve." Danny said sadly as he played with his bottle. "It's been a month-exactly one month-and I haven't heard squat from him since he got on that damn plane. I mean I understand that he can't just pick up the phone and call me but I would have thought by now I'd have heard _something _from him." Chin smiled. This was the closest to a rant he heard in awhile.

"I'm sure as soon as he can he'll contact you."

"I know it's just…."

"You're worried." Chin finished.

"My partner is on the other side of the world with a license to kill and a team who is there to encourage such behavior…of course I'm worried!" Danny exclaimed.

"Didn't Steve tell you not to worry?"

"No, I told me not to be a pain. Have I been a pain? I don't think I've been a pain. I actually think that the Vatican may be calling soon to tell me I'm up for sainthood I've been so good." Danny waved his hand around dismissively as he talked. It made Chin smile.

"Your saintly behavior is actually more frightening than the ranting." Chin confessed. He and Kono had been worried that Danny's easy acceptance of everything was really a front and they didn't know how much longer he could keep it up. And when it did all fall apart it was going to be massive. "Are you sleeping alright?"

"Are you kidding? I have that giant bed all to myself without having to deal with Steve's long legs and arms getting all tangled up in the sheets and stealing my covers…. And it's nice and quiet without his soft breathing in my ear….and I can go to bed whenever I want without him waking me up with a kiss on the head….and wake up when I want and not when he decides to get up and go for a run..." Danny's voice trailed off. Even a simple thing like sleeping had way too many reminders of the fact that he was currently alone. Damn he missed Steve.

"How's Grace dealing with it?" Chin had noted the wistful tone in the other man's voice but had chosen not to say anything. Danny was likely to get defensive about it and not open up anymore.

"She doesn't understand why she can't call him. I've tried to explain that he's very far away and very busy chasing bad guys to which she responded that Jersey is far away too and she can call the family there so why can't she call Steve? I told her she should write him a letter with everything she wants to say."

"Ya? Did that work?"

"Oh ya. She's written I don't know how many letters and drawn a bunch of pictures. Now if I just knew where the hell to send it." Danny remarked. This 'where-in-the-world-is-Steve-McGarrett' was not a game he wanted to play anymore.

"Hang in there, bruddah." Chin clasped his hand on his shoulder. Danny sighed and nodded. He was trying, lord knows he was trying, but damn if it wasn't hard.

* * *

The nightmares were getting worse.

Not that he would admit it if Chin or Kono were to ask. They weren't every night but they were often enough to be a disruption in his sleeping patterns. The dreams were never the same. Sometimes Steve was dead, sometimes he had been captured and other times he had returned but he wasn't Steve anymore. PTSD, IED's, any horrifying way to ruin a person and Danny had dreamed about it.

In tonight's dream he had been awoken early in the morning by the Governor standing at his door. She was there to inform him that the humvee that Steve had been riding in had been involved in a roadside bombing. He had suffered a traumatic brain injury and was unlikely to ever regain consciousness or be taken off of life support.

He had woken up choking on the breath that had been kicked out of his chest. They were too real. The sights, the sounds, the feelings, they were all getting to be too real. He sat up until he caught his breath and then threw himself down onto the other side of the bed where Steve's pillow was. It was like the safety blanket that Grace had when she was a baby. The pillow still smelled like Steve and inhaling that scent calmed him and allowed him the ability to believe that he was just waiting for him to come to bed for the night. Of course, the delusion only lasted so long before he was back trapped in another terrifying dream.

He thought about telling Chin or Kono about the dreams but then they would worry about him which was what he was supposed to be avoiding doing. Besides what could they do to help him? He was pretty sure that as long as Steve was gone his mind was going to screw with him and make him think horrible things so what was the point in calling attention to himself? He knew one thing that would help the situation would be to hear Steve's voice telling him that he was fine and to stop worrying. But until then, a cold pillow and a couple more hours of fitful sleep were just going to have to do.


	3. If You're Going Through Hell

**Author's note:** You guys continue to amaze me! You're all so awesome! This one is a little bit shorter than the others but I promise that I'll have another chapter up to tomorrow!

_This is not a letter but my arms around you for a brief moment~Katherine Mansfield_

* * *

The letter came exactly two months after Steve was deployed.

Danny was so relieved to hold that envelope in his hands that he nearly wept. (When did he get to be so weepy? He never cried-NEVER) His fingers fumbled as he tore it open and his hands shook as he held the pieces of paper in his hands. There was one for him and one for Grace. His heart raced as he looked down at them. It was Steve's hand writing-perfectly neat printed letters in perfectly straight lines across the page. He held the piece of paper against his chest as if by holding them, he could somehow hold Steve. He sank down to the kitchen floor and began to read.

_Danny,_

_I've never done this before-_

(Gee, he'd heard that before.

"Danny, I've never done this before." Steve said as he pulled away from another smoldering kisss.

"And you think I have?"

"Well…"

"Don't think, McGarrett, just kiss.")

-_I've never had to leave a lover behind so I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say. I asked a couple of the guys what they tell their wives. They all said that they lie. They tell them that it really isn't as bad as it looks on TV and things are going fine. I started a letter like that and then I heard you in my head telling me I was an asshole for lying and how could I have possibly thought that you would believe that? So here's the truth: It's hell, Danny, absolute hell. But what's the saying? If you're going through hell, keep going? _

_We've been engaged in a few fire fights which I know you would tell me is an average day's work back on the island but it's just not the same without you yelling at me about procedure or waiting for backup. I can't believe I'm admitting this to you but I miss your ranting. It helps to take my mind off the danger at hand. _

_I miss the island because as much as you complain that sand is sand, there is a difference. Hawaiian sand is soft and white whereas desert sand is rough and dirty looking. I miss the breeze that comes off the water and sprays a salty mist in your face. Here the only thing the wind blows is sand and dirt. But I miss you the most, Danny. I miss the team and Grace but I miss you so much sometimes I think it hurts. You better not be worrying about me. I'm doing my best to come back to you in one piece. _

_I love you, _

_Steve._

Danny ran his hand over the paper, soaking the words up with his touch. Steve was homesick but he was okay. And somehow hearing that Steve missed him about as much as he missed Steve made Danny feel a little better. As he went to bed that night, he tucked the letter under his partner's pillow and slept in dreamless peace for a night.

* * *

It had been Grace and Kono's idea to put together a care package for Steve. They had all received letter and now that they knew where they could send stuff, they all agreed that a package from home would help to lift his spirits some.

Danny had a manila envelope full of letters and drawings from Grace that was the first thing to go into the large shipping box that Chin had carried into the office that morning. Added to those were letters and photographs of Chin, Kono and Danny. Next was a couple of tins of goodies that Kono had baked. (Steve always raved about her white chocolate macadamia nut bars) Chin added some practical items like baby wipes (to wash up with) lotion (for dry, cracking skin) batteries (for flashlights and radios) and a pack of cards as well as some little handheld games (for boredom). Danny was last and he had made it his mission to send Steve as much of Hawaii as he could fit in a box.

He had filled an old plastic soda bottle with sand from the beach. He also had a shell that Grace swore she could hear the ocean in. Danny didn't hear anything but put it in anyways. His last item was a coconut. Kono had asked him what the hell Steve was supposed to do with a coconut and Danny had simply shrugged and said he could use it as a weapon if needed. He would have sent him a pineapple too if he thought the stupid thing wouldn't rot before it got over there.

As they were sealing up the tightly packed box, Danny felt himself smile hoping that this would make Steve smile too.


	4. Letters From Home

**Author's note: **I promised another chapter today and so here it is. We get to see how Steve is doing since so many asked. Again, you are all amazing.

_Man on the television said somethings so I couldn't sleep...but I'll be alright I'm just missing you...and this is me kissing you...XX's and OO's...in a letter from home.~John Michael Montgomery, Letters From Home._

* * *

Steve had never gotten a care package before.

His mother had been gone by the time he enlisted and Mary was doing god knows what. His dad had sent letters but was by no means sentimental or emotional in them. Most were about cases he was working on and at the end he always added a 'how are you holding up son?' like it was an afterthought. It hadn't really bothered him. That was just how his father was. He knew he was loved even if he hadn't always been told. He had always thought that was how dads were. And then he met Danny Williams, the New Jersey detective who moved half way across the global just to spend a couple hours a week with his daughter and told her he loved her every chance he got. God he missed those two.

"What's wrong with you, McGarrett?" His second in command, Beck, had asked.

"Nothing." Steve shrugged. Beck gave him a look.

"Ya well then wipe that ugly look off your face." _You've got your aneurysm face again._ Steve could hear Danny saying in his head. "Be happy, you got a package." He sat up quickly on the bed.

"A package? From who?"

"From your 'ohana'. Who is that anyways? It that like your Grandma or something?" Beck asked as he set the large box down on the bed.

"Ohana is Hawaiian for family." Steve corrected as he tore into the box. Beck just shook his head and left to give his Commander some privacy. Which Steve greatly appreciated because he may or may not have let a few tears out when he looked at the contents. Danny had sent sand. He had fucking sent sand and a coconut and Steve thought that it was the best gift he'd ever received.

He dug through the box in awe of all the items but it wasn't until he found the manila envelope that he felt the sting of tears again.

"Gracie…" There were dozens of crayons drawings and letters telling him about things she'd done at school and what she and Danny were up to and how much she missed him. One picture in particular he set aside. It was of him, her and Danny with a caption reading, 'Grace and Danno love you'. Steve folded it and put it in his shirt pocket. He would carry that one around with him.

He was looking through the photographs that had been sent when one of his other team members, Hughes, walked in.

"That your family?"

"Ya." Steve said wistfully.

"Is that your wife?" He asked, pointing at Kono in the picture.

"No." Steve said adamantly.

"Oh, I see." Hughes said knowingly. "Must be tough with a kid." He gestured towards Grace's pictures. Steve looked at him oddly. "Not all girls can handle it, you know? They don't understand you being away all the time or they can't handle the constant threat of danger. At least she lets the kid send you stuff. Some woman are real bitches and don't want the kids exposed to the 'horrors of war'." Steve was legitimately confused for a moment until he realized what Hughes was saying. He thought that he was divorced and Grace was his daughter. He started to correct him and then stopped himself. Hughes didn't ask and Steve couldn't tell. He sent an apology to Danny in his mind and went along with what the other man was saying.

"You got a wife?" Steve asked. Hughes scoffed.

"Naw, I didn't leave anybody behind. The only thing missing me back home is my fantasy football team and my leather couch."

"I used to be like you, a loner with nobody to tie me down or hold me back. But I can tell you from experience you're doing it the hard way. I'll tell you right now that this-" Steve gestured to the box. "Means more to me than I ever thought possible."

"How can it be the hard way? If something happens to me, nobody gets hurt. If something happens to you—look at all the people you'll hurt." Hughes accused. Steve shook his head.

"I don't see it that way. I see it as more of look at how many people I have to live for." Hughes looked like he was about to say something else when the door opened again and another man entered.

"Hughes, get the fuck out of here. Let the Commander open his mail in peace." The other man, James, ordered. Hughes looked at him for a moment before leaving. James came over and took his place next to Steve.

"How's the ohana?" James asked. He and Steve had served together before during his first tour of duty and he was also from Hawaii.

"Missing me like crazy." Steve responded with a smile. James picked up the coconut and looked at him. "Danny was trying to send me a little bit of Hawaii." James laughed.

"Crazy haole." Steve and James had a long talk one night about the 5-0 and Steve's crazy partner who insisted that pineapple on a pizza was an abomination and that there was too much water around them. James had wondered how far their partnership really went but he had too much respect for the Commander to ask about it. He patted Steve on the back. "Hang in there, bruddah." He said as he got up, leaving Steve alone again. Steve nodded. He liked James. He kind of reminded him of Chin.

He continued going through everything when he found the letters that had been written by each member of the team. He read Chin's first.

_Steve,_

_Aloha bruddah! It's good to hear that you're doing alright over there. Things just aren't the same around here without you. Neither are the people. Danny is behaving like you asked him to but I wonder about him sometimes. Kono tries to goad him into going off like he does with you but it never has the same kind of enthusiasm as when he's complaining about you. I don't know how well he's sleeping but he seemed to be getting along alright. Kono's really stepping things up with us being one man down. You'd be proud of her. Danny has too. I wish the Governor would have more faith in him but he seemed to take it all in stride. We're hanging in there, Steve but don't stay away too long. _

Steve sighed. He knew Chin would tell it to him straight. It wouldn't have surprised him if Danny was having trouble sleeping. He had nightmares, Steve knew. They usually came about after a particularly close call and Steve would have to hold him tightly and whisper soothing things into his ear until he settled again. There was nobody there to settle him now when he was sure the nightmare were worse than ever and that tore at his heart a little. He came to Danny's letter last.

_Steve,_

_I'm not very good at expressing myself in writing. I prefer action but since you won't let me fly over there and be with you, I guess this letter will have to do. I miss you, you stupid jerk. This house is way too big for me and so is this bed. I know that you need a giant sized bed for your giant sized self but I get lost in all the covers. At least I have your pillow to keep me company at night which by the way is starting to lose your scent which means it's time for you to come back so I can just have the real thing. _

_I don't know what kind of super SEAL magic you worked on the Governor but she's sure not as impressed with me. She's constantly there checking up on me making sure I'm not ruining her special taskforce. I know she means well but she is really starting to cramp my style. You need to send some of that magic over my way. _

_I figured you were homesick so I tried to send you some of this pineapple infested hellhole in a box. You said you hated the sand so I thought you might want some of the good stuff. I would have sent some of that abomination you call pizza but I've been told it doesn't ship well. Go figure. _

_Grace asks me every week when you're coming home and I just keep telling her that there are a lot of bad guys out there and you've got to catch them all before you can come back. Because you are coming back. I will not explain to my eight year old why you went away to chase bad guys and died because I wasn't there. Do you understand me, Steve? That goes the same for coming back in one piece. _

_I'm doing my best to carry on without you but it isn't easy. I had to stop watching the news or reading the front page of the paper because they messed with my mind too much. I stick with the sports section and MLB network. (The Mets are really tanking it right now) So far it's help ease my mind some but I fear I won't be right again until you return. So hurry the hell up. _

_And remember,_

_Danno loves you._

Steve re-read the letter a few times to commit the words to memory before folding the paper up and adding it to the picture in his shirt pocket. That way, he could keep Danny with him at all times.


	5. A Part of You in Me

**Author's note: **Again you are all truly amazing to me. And I promise to address some of things that have been discussed like the issue of 'don't ask don't tell'. It won't be in this chapter but it's coming.

_A part of you has grown into me. And so you see it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart~ Anonymous _

* * *

Apparently Danny knew how to get in trouble without Steve's help.

Chin rubbed his face roughly as he sat down in the waiting room chair. Danny was being stitched up down the hall and Chin could still hear him bitching out the doctor. The injury wasn't anything serious but it was bad enough that it was going to leave a scar that Steve was sure to notice.

They were just going to talk to the guy. He was an ally of their suspect who was supposed to have some info on the whereabouts of said suspect. Unfortunately, the moment he caught sight of Danny he took off running (really, the haole screamed cop from his tie to his dress shoes). Of course, Danny decided to run after the guy and of course the guy decided to pull a knife as soon as he had been tackled to the ground. He hadn't actually stabbed Danny with it but he got a pretty good slice of the detective's chest. Chin had arrived to find Danny sitting on the guy, holding his bleeding chest and bitching about how somehow in some way Steve had something to do with this.

"14 stitches! 14 goddamn stitches! All because some idiot thought that we were going to bust him for weapons possession. Well, I may not have had that intention before but you can bet your ass I'm busting him for it now." Chin looked over his shoulder and heard before he saw Danny coming.

"Hey bruddah." Chin stood up and went to meet his friend. He had to smack Danny's hand away from the bandage that he was messing with. "Did you get all your meds?"

"Ya, painkillers and antibiotics because god knows what was on that frickin' knife he tried to gut me with. Which is why I also got a lovely tetanus shot." Danny whined and looked down at his blood stained shirt. "Steve's going to be pissed."

"Ya he's not going to be happy you got hurt."

"He's not gonna care about that. This shirt on the other hand was his favorite." Danny frowned as he fingered the torn edges. Chin frowned too.

"Why would you think Steve wouldn't care about you being hurt?" Chin asked.

"Because if he did he wouldn't constantly get me hurt. I've come to anticipate it from him considering he got me shot the first day I met him. Besides, he's not gonna find out about this, right?" Danny gave Chin a warning look. Chin was torn. He wanted to respect Danny and not say anything since he'd asked but he also didn't want to keep things from Steve. He sighed.

"I won't tell Steve so long as you behave and take your meds until they're all gone." He countered. Danny pouted but nodded in agreement.

* * *

Danny decided that Kono was worse than his mother about making sure he was taking care of himself. Every does of his antibiotics were shoved in his hand along with a bottle of water and something to eat at the exact scheduled time.

"I'm not going to answer to Steve if you get an infection because you were a stubborn idiot. Besides, I thought you liked following the rules? You wouldn't want Steve calling you a hypocrite now would you?" She threatened with that damn smile of hers and Danny knew he was screwed. "I'll take you home tonight." She said as she took his keys.

"It's just a scratch!" He exclaimed. "I'm perfectly capable of driving myself home."

"Okay for one thing, that is not just a scratch that is a severe gouge. And second, you shouldn't be driving on the pain medication they gave you."

"Seriously? Have you seen the way Steve drives sober?" Danny threw his hands up but Kono would not budge so he had to reluctantly follow her out to the car.

Kono didn't have to go in with him and make him dinner but she wanted to snoop a little and make sure that he was taking care of himself. She was surprised at how clean the house but not as surprised to see the fridge looking fairly bare.

"Guess you haven't made it to the store yet this week?" She asked as she tried to find something edible.

"What are you talking about? I just went to the store."

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow as she watched him enter the kitchen. "There's nothing here."

"Yes there is. I got milk, cereal, bread, peanut butter and beer. I got all the essentials." Danny explained.

"That's not real food, Danny. Don't you cook?" She asked. Danny dropped his head and looked at his feet.

"I don't like cooking for one. I'll cook sometimes when Grace is here but I always make one serving too many." He confessed softly. Kono's tone softened too.

"Let's order take-out." She suggested.

"Not pizza." He declared.

"Why? You love pizza."

"Ya but you'll put pineapple on it which is wrong." Kono rolled her eyes.

"Chinese is it then."

* * *

Kono had left after making sure that Danny had thoroughly stuffed himself with sesame chicken and egg rolls and had taken another dose of antibiotics and pain killers. He had thankfully remembered to change out of his work clothes before taking the heavy duty pain killers they had given him so he could sleep tonight. As he lay on the bed, slowly starting to drift off to sleep, he looked over at the empty other side of the bed.

"I was scared today…. I don't know why I went chasing after that guy like I did. It was just instinct-I blame you for that by the way. I didn't even see the knife until the bastard had already gotten me…And it wasn't blood or the wound that was freaking me out. It was the fact that I didn't see you come flying at me, yelling my name with those big panicked eyes. Not that I like to see you panicked it's just that…..even though you seem to insist upon putting me into life and death situations, I know that you're going to get both of us out of them." His voice began to fade as the medication started to take it effect. "Today, you weren't there to save me if I had needed it. I know that Chin had my back but _you're _my partner… And I'm not there to save you….and I think that's the hardest thing of all to deal with." Danny murmured as he drifted off into a restless sleep.

* * *

Steve rubbed at his chest absently as he lay in bed. He and Beck had the overnight guard watch. He had been laying on the top of the Humvee when he had felt a sharp pain in his chest. It had freaked him out at first, thinking that a sniper had gotten him but when he looked down there was nothing there. No mark no nothing. The pain had subsided some as time had gone on but there was still a dull ache in that spot.

"What's wrong with you?" Beck barked at him. "You got a heart ache or something?" He joked. He knew McGarrett had left somebody back home that he was missing something bad.

"Shut it, Beck." Steve had barked back.

"You got it bad, McGarrett." Beck harassed. Steve glared at him. "Oh ya, you got it real bad. "

"Me? What about you and that little blonde thing you got taped up under your helmet? Tell me she doesn't have you wrapped around her finger?" Steve shot back. Beck just smiled at him.

"I guess we both got it bad." The two men laughed and tried to get a few hours of sleep but Steve could only toss and turn. Something about that pain in his chest wasn't right and it had this bad feeling that it had something to do with Danny.


	6. The Dark Night of the Soul

**Author's note: **I am soo glad that you guys responded to that chapter so warmly. I was really hoping that people would respond positively to the last part with Steve and his phantom pain. I just really thought that those two are so connected to one another that they would know when the other was in pain.

_In the real dark night of the soul it's always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.~ Fitzgerald_

* * *

The coconut had become his confidant.

He had been staring at it one night while lying in bed and couldn't help but notice how the silk on its shell stuck up in the same way that Danny's hair did when he first woke up in the morning. Steve had drawn eyes and a mouth on it and it soon became the 'person' he could talk to when he couldn't talk to anybody else.

He'd been worried about money lately. He knew that there were bills that needed to be paid while he was away and that Danny had been covering those bills for the last 5 months. It wasn't fair. Danny's money was tight as it was with the child support he had to pay Rachel. (which Steve had always thought was an exorbitant amount considering how she was living now but Danny insisted that he'd paying anything to make sure Grace was taken care of). He wished that he could get his military pay and benefits to go to Danny but since he wasn't a spouse (and even if he was it was doubtful the navy would consider him as such) there was no way he could help him out.

"Ah Danno, it's not supposed to be this hard. I would do anything to be back with you." Steve said wistfully looking at the coconut who smiled his stupid crooked smile back at him. Steve shook his head and set it back down on the bed.

Money though was just one of the things atop a long list of issues that were bothering him. This included the fact that he was going to miss Danny's birthday. He had been trying to get a small leave so that he could surprise his lover but the CO's were being really stingy about giving any leave time and were restricting it to people with death's in the family and children being born.

Then this morning, Steve found out that they were being sent out on a special op which meant no communication with the outside world until after the mission was over.

He should have been expecting this. He was a goddamn SEAL after all. It was his job to do the things that the average solider didn't. The problem with special ops was that they had very loose time tables and extremely high risk. Danny wasn't going to like this. Steve knew one of the few things keeping his partner sane and calm was the fact that there was at least some communication between them, some way for him to know that Steve was okay. Being gone on a special op with no communication or reassurance just might finally break him.

* * *

Danny had just made it down to his car when Kono had called and told him that he had to come back inside and that it was urgent.

"What could possibly be so urgent to pulling me back on a Friday afternoon when we don't have a case?" Danny muttered to himself as he walked back through the office door.

"You know if you keep talking to yourself people are going to start thinking you've finally lost it, Danno." Danny's head whipped up. He knew that voice….

"If I'm crazy it's only because I have a partner who makes me insane." He retorted as he looked at Steve's smiling face on the big screen. "By the way, you look awful."

"Ya well you don't look much better yourself. When did you start growing a beard?" Steve retorted, trying not to look too ridiculously happy about how easy their banter still came.

"I would have shaved if I had known you were going to call." Danny said. Chin and Kono, who had been standing off to the side to allow the couple to talk were smiling. This was as animated as they had seen Danny in months.

"Naw, I like the scruff. It makes you look less uptight." Steve said on purpose, knowing it would get a rise out of the other man. He had missed this.

"If you weren't on the other side of the world right now…." Danny warned, making a fist.

"Ya right, you know I'd take you down before you even got off a punch." Steve scoffed. "So Chin, has he been any trouble so far?"

"Except for getting a minor infection, he's been no trouble at all." Danny shot Chin a piercing stare.

"You said you weren't going to tell!" He hissed. Chin pointed a finger at him.

"I said I wouldn't tell as long as you were good about taking your meds. Clearly you weren't." Chin reminded.

"Woa woa, wait a minute. Danny, how'd you get an infection?" Steve asked, suddenly concerned.

"He got sliced up pretty good by a suspect, took a pretty good gouge out of his chest." Kono informed. Danny threw his hands up in the air. Steve's eyes narrowed in concern.

"Danny," His partner wouldn't look at him. "DANNY." He said louder. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a scrape!" Danny exclaimed.

"That got infected. That's serious." Steve added. Danny didn't like the glisten of concern in his lover's eyes.

"Well I'm all better now. Nothing left but a little scar that you can examine when you get home…..which will be when exactly?" Steve broke eye contact and Danny knew he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear.

"I don't know."

"What aren't you telling me?" Danny questioned. Steve hung his head.

"I'm not gonna be able to contact you for awhile. I don't know how long exactly but that's all I can say." He admitted. Danny looked down to see if his stomach had landed on the floor when it dropped out of his gut. There was that look again, the one he had that night while he was on the phone with the Navy.

"Steve…."

"I really can't say anymore. But I'll contact you as soon as I can, I promise." He said but Danny didn't hear. All he could hear was the blood rushing to his head and his heart racing way too fast. "Danny?" Steve called out when he saw the other man become unresponsive. Chin and Kono looked over at their friend in concern.

"Danny?" Kono walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" She whispered.

"I'm fine." He whispered, trying to regain his composure. He looked back up at the screen and his partner. "Don't go doing anything stupid." He demanded.

"Like what?"

"Like getting yourself killed." Danny responded, his tone serious.

"It's not gonna happen." Steve reassured and then turned his head as someone off camera was talking to him. "Look, I gotta go but I'll promise I'll contact you as soon as I can, alright? I love you." Steve added. Kono watched as a little bit of panic entered Danny's eyes.

"I love you too." Danny responded before the screen went dark and Steve disappeared from their sight once again.

* * *

"Are you sure we should have left him alone tonight?" Kono asked her cousin. Danny had left the office a little while after they had ended the video call with Steve and the look on her face had her worried. He had been so happy to see Steve and talk to him and then just like everything else with those two lately, the other shoe dropped without giving Danny any warning.

"I think he needs some time to process this." Chin responded. He wasn't feeling much better about the situation but he also knew that they needed to respect their friend's privacy. "We'll check on him in the morning." He assured. Kono looked at him worriedly but agreed.


	7. This Ohana Thing

**Author's note: **Well i was going to try to get this up during the holidays but things were just crazy so here's a late christmas present for all of you wonderful people.

_Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain but I brushed my teeth anyways. I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face. ~Sara Evans, A Little Bit Stronger_

* * *

Danny didn't even try to sleep without help that came in the form of a bottle that night.

Chin and Kono had been kind enough to leave him alone for a night and he had taken full advantage of it. There was a bottle of cheap scotch that had been hiding in a back cabinet since before Steve had left. Neither of them were really hard liquor drinkers. The scotch had been deemed as simply medicinal for those nights when mental wounds needed a little bit of healing. Danny had managed to avoid it up to this point. He wasn't the kind of guy to drown his sorrows in a bottle night after night because things were going bad.

But his brain could be a real jerk sometimes.

It liked to lead him down twisted paths to dark places that a lesser man would crumble under. He'd had nightmares for most of his adult life. They had really started right after he had graduated the academy. After a particularly close call, his mind liked to show him what would have happened had things gone wrong. They got slightly worse after Grace was born with the worries of having her grow up without him. Then he fell in love with that fool Steve McGarrett and his mind would take him captive and do things that made hanging a guy over a roof seem like child's play.

He had been embarrassed the first time he had a nightmare in front of Steve. Nightmares were for children, not grown men and especially not super SEAL's like him. But Steve had been surprisingly compassionate. He had held onto Danny tightly, pulling him flush against him, chest to chest and had whispered comforting things into his ear while he stroked his head and back until the shaking had stopped.

"_Danny, look at me." Steve had requested as he held his lover tightly. Danny was reluctant. This was completely embarrassing to have a fucking nightmare in front of his boyfriend that he'd only been sharing a bed with for a few weeks. Steve put a hand under his chin and lifted Danny's head up so he could look him in the eyes. "It's okay." He reassured._

"_Not it's not." Danny tried to hang his head again. Steve wouldn't let him._

"_Why is it not okay? You think because you're an adult or because you're male you're not allowed to have nightmares?" He asked. Danny didn't respond. "I have them too." Steve admitted. _

"_You do?" Danny looked surprised. _

"_Ya, sometimes about my parents…sometimes I'm back in the Navy….sometimes…they're about you." Steve had this look of vulnerability about him that convinced Danny that he was telling the truth. _

Danny looked blurry eyed at the other side of the bed as he recalled that night. After that confession Steve had leaned down and placed one of the softest kisses on Danny's lip. That had been the first night that they had actually 'made love' instead of just having sex. It was a turning point for them going from in a relationship to being committed to each other.

The nightmares had become so much more bearable when he was gently woken by Steve's touch and soft words. And they had been lessening to a certain extent. At least they had been until the damn Navy called. Then they had come back with a vengeance. They were so much worse too without someone there to comfort him.

That's why the bottle of scotch had come out to play last night. He just wasn't ready to deal with it yet. He was just starting to really be okay with Steve being gone and not just acting like he was. They had established communication with each other and he knew that Steve was alive and safe. Now? Well he didn't even want to entertain those thoughts in his mind. So he had gotten shit faced drunk and hadn't even been aware that he had made it to the bed until he woke up in it. Thank god he didn't have Grace this weekend. He wasn't anywhere near ready to deal with that yet.

He groaned as he rolled off his stomach and onto his back where the sunlight attacked his eyes. He shot a glance over at the clock on the bedside table and groaned again. 9:47 am. Danny tried to move to an upright position and instantly regretted it as his head pounded in protest. He pushed himself to keep moving until he was on two feet and shuffling towards the bathroom. Chin and Kono may have left him alone last night but it was doubtful they would leave him to his own devices for the whole weekend-especially when they knew he didn't have Grace to keep him together.

He turned on the water for the shower and risked a glance at the mirror to see how bad he looked. His hair was going in every direction and his eyes were red and puffy. Had he cried last night?

"Damn it Steve." He cursed as he stepped into the steaming shower. "This isn't fair. I clearly can't handle this. And if I'm this bad with you just being away, just imagine if….." Danny's voice died as he stepped under the water spray. He didn't want to imagine what if.

* * *

Kono had arrived around lunch time with sandwiches and strong coffee. She had wanted to say something about the practically empty liquor bottle on the kitchen counter and the mess that was scattered around the living room but she bit her tongue. They had kind of been expecting this and so they let him get it out of his system. Should another such episode occur and well…they'd have no choice but to step in.

She had set up lunch out on the lanai and they had eaten in relative silence. Chin was going to be a little bit late.

"Why'd he have to call like that?" Danny had asked randomly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why'd he have to do a video call? Why'd he have to tease me by letting me see him and talk to him like everything wasn't wrong and then tell me he's disappearing for god knows how long? Why would he do that to me?" Kono didn't like the hurt sound in her friend's voice.

"I'm sure he wanted to see you and figured you wanted to see him too before he went off instead of just telling you in a letter." She explained.

"The letter would have been better. At least then I could have had the last time I'd seen him be at the airport where I had held him, touched him, smelled him. He had been there in the flesh. Not over some freakin' computer screen."

"Danny don't think like that." Kono scolded. "Steve is going to be just fine. And he'll come back here to us-to you and everything will go back to normal." It sounded like a fairytale that she would have told Grace but she liked the fairy tale idea because right now reality sucked. Chin had appeared in the doorway before either could make another comment.

"So, did you get it out of your system?" He asked as he came to sit down next to his cousin. Danny hung his head, knowing what the older man was referring to.

"Ya," He nodded, looking ashamed.

"Hey Danny, we understand that this isn't easy for you and some nights you're not going to cope well, we just don't want to see it become an everyday occurrence." Chin said, his tone compassionate.

"I appreciate your support, I really do and I promise I'm not gonna become some drunk because one-that's not fair to you guys-two, Rachel would gladly take away my visitation rights if she knew-and three, Steve would kick my ass if he found out." Danny counted off on his fingers.

"He's not the only one." Kono warned but softened it by wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Danny leaned into the embrace. It was times like this that he realized this Ohana thing wasn't so bad after all.


	8. Let It Come Someday

**Author's note: **I truly do not mean to depress all of you! My best friend always accuses me of writing depressing stories but I always try to have a happy ending. Drama and turmoil are just my writing style i guess. I also want to try to be realistic. The things that Steve and Danny are going through are things that i would imagine real couples in their situation going through. Anyways, i hope this chapter is a little bit more upbeat. I felt like I hadn't really explored Steve and Grace's relationship so this is a little glimpse at it. I will put out a warning for strong language and some sensitive subject matter. Grace's song that she's singing at the end is "Someday" from the Disney movie Hunchback of Notre Dame, but the version i would suggest listening to is the one by Celtic Women. That's how I imagined Grace sounding.

* * *

"Danny let me explain." Rachel started as she pulled him aside.

"I don't want to hear it." Danny gave her a look that said he really didn't want to have this conversation with her right now but she was persistent.

"This isn't what you think. I am not here to chastise you." She explained. Danny was stunned. His ex-wife didn't want to blame their daughter getting in trouble on him? "It's about Steve."

"I'm sorry, what? How in the hell could my partner possibly be involved in this?" He questioned. He called gotten a call about mid morning that Grace was currently sitting in the principal's office after having an outburst in class. Apparently Rachel had gotten their first and already had a talk with the Principal.

"Grace's class has a choir concert coming up and her teacher had chosen her to sing a solo in the concert," Rachel started. Danny just nodded. Grace had told him all about this when he had her last weekend. "Apparently, she told her teacher that she wanted to sing a song for Steve and the teacher wouldn't let her." Danny clenched his jaw in anticipation of where this was going. Rachel sensed this and reached a hand out onto his arm. "Danny please don't…." But he had already broken away from her and in to the office.

Grace was sitting in a chair in front of the desk in the office with her arms across her chest and a defiant look on her face. When she saw her father enter, she jumped down and ran to him.

"Danno!" She cried. "Mr. Keith won't let me sing a song for Steve!" Danny bent down to her level.

"He won't huh? And why is that?" He said, his comment directed at his daughter but his look was directed at the woman behind the desk.

"Mr. Williams," She said, rising from her seat. Danny stood as well. "I'm Principal Park. I called you down here to address Grace's outburst in music class today."

"Ya, why won't her teacher let her sing her song?"

"It's not about the song." She stated. "It's who the song is for."

"I told you it's for my other daddy Steve! He's fighting bad guys very far away and he needs our support!" Grace exclaimed, sounding exasperated that these adults weren't understanding her. Mrs. Park frowned.

"We understand that dear it's just that…."

"Just that what? You don't like the fact that she wants to dedicate a song to a man who's in Afghanistan fighting for all of our freedoms?...Or the fact that she wants to dedicated a song to her father's boyfriend?" Danny accused.

"It's a sensitive topic, Mr. Williams. Some parents may be upset if their children start asking why Grace has two dad's that live together-"

"So rather than trying to teach acceptance and how to love each other regardless of who or what they are, you'd rather just continue the hate." Danny ranted. He was getting really tired of having to fight this fight over and over again.

"Mr. Williams, you don't understand-"

"No! You're the one who doesn't understand." He yelled, pointing a shaky finger at the women. "My Grace loves Steve McGarrett as if he was her own biological father and he loves her like she's his own. He's a Navy SEAL doing his duty right now to make sure when she gets tucked in at night she is safe, even if it means sacrificing his own life to do so. And you won't let her sing a song for him because it might make some homophobic parents uncomfortable?" He raged on.

"We reserve the right to change the curriculum in order to make sure we are doing what is in the best interest of ALL the children." Mrs. Park stated, becoming flustered by the detective's accusations.

"So you're not going to let her sing her solo?" The principal didn't answer right away. Danny looked down at his daughter who was staring at him with teary eyes. "You know what? Fuck you and fuck your school. If this is the kind of message that you're going to teach then I want my Grace to have no part in it." He reached down and picked up the little girl and shifted her into his arm. "Come on, monkey. Let's go." He carried her out of the office and as he passed Rachel, who had been standing by the door watching the whole exchange, he told her very seriously

"We're finding her a new school. I will not send her back here." Rachel, surprisingly, didn't object but instead just followed him out the door.

"Are you mad at me, Danno?" Grace asked as they were walking out.

"What? No! I'm not mad at you at all." He reassured.

"You sounded mad."

"I was mad at Mrs. Park, not you monkey." He placed a kiss on the side of her head.

"She and Mrs. Keith were mean," She said softly. "They told me that Steve wasn't my real daddy and that he didn't count." Danny tensed as he heard the hurt in Grace's voice.

"Well you're not going to have to deal with those mean ladies anymore. Mommy and I are going to find you a new school." He looked over at Rachel who was walking next to them. She just looked back at him, her face neutral. He was unnerving him slightly. He wasn't used to his ex being so….accepting of his antics. Grace laid her head down on her father's shoulders like she was exhausted by this battle.

"I just wanted to sing a song for him. I thought you could tape it and send it to Steve so he knows how much I love him." She mumbled into his shoulder.

"Ah monkey, Steve already knows how much you love him."

"I know, I just wanted to do something special for him. Now I can't." Her voice was so depressed sounding that it tore Danny up inside.

"Well how about this, when we get home you can sing the song you wanted to do for Steve and we can tape it and send it to him like you wanted to?"

"Can we?" She raised her head up a little, hope returning to her.

"Absolutely."

"Love you Danno." She said as she kissed the side of his face before laying her head back down. She had fallen asleep by the time they had made it to the cars.

"You should take her tonight." Rachel suggested. Danny looked at his ex oddly as he placed their daughter in the car.

"Why are you so okay with all of this? I just threw a fit and pulled our daughter out of the expensive private school you and Stan insisted upon putting her in and you're not screaming and telling me I'm a maniac." Danny questioned. Rachel sighed.

"You're right."

"I'm sorry, can you say that again?"

"You're right." She admitted, begrudgingly. "You have a point. We have always tried to teach our daughter to be a good person and do the right thing and clearly this school isn't interested in those things." She said with a shrug.

"You know when you talk like that I kind of remember why I married you." He commented. She punched him in the arm.

"I'm not always the heartless bitch you like to portray me as. I have no problem with yours and Steve's relationship-"

"Ya why is that exactly?" Danny interrupted. Rachel had never questioned and never harassed him about his relationship with his male partner. He had thought for sure that she would have ranted and tried to renegotiate the custody agreement to keep Grace away from them but she had simply given him this knowing smile.

"For god knows what reason that man loves you and is willing to put up with your psychoses. He also loves our daughter and makes you happy which makes you much more pleasant to deal with. Really I approve for entirely selfish reasons. The less miserable you are, the less miserable you make me." She explained. He just looked at her. "I'll start looking around for other schools in the morning." She said before heading off to her own car. Danny watched her retreating form with a sort of smile and in his mind, he could hear Steve warning him that he better not be checking out her ass.

* * *

Danny couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he listened to Grace sing her song. She had chosen some song from a Disney movie (he couldnt' rememer which one exactly) but it was so heartbreakingly innocent and beautiful in song that it gave her father shivers. Her little voice rang out so clearly as she sang about a perfect world. Danny sighed. It was such child's logic to want to sing a song about peace for a man currently fighting a war. That didn't stop him though, from wanting to believe in the words coming out of her mouth.

_Someday when we are wiser, when the world's older, when we have learned. I pray someday we may yet live to live and let live. Someday life will be fairer, need will be rarer and greed will not pay. God speed this bright millennium on its way, let it come someday._


	9. In Time

**Author's note: **I'M SO SORRY! This has taken me way longer than I wanted it to to get it posted! Between the holidays and the fact that I am currently out of town, things are crazy. I promise to do my best to get things up more quickly. I kind of struggled with this chapter some but I feel confident in it. Don't kill me please! Just sit tight and trust me!

_I can hear the sirens coming, smell the gasoline and smoke. I"m pinned against this steering wheel, pretty sure my arm is broke. I can see the flames and my life flashing right before my eyes. I hope they get to me in time.~Darius Rucker, I Hope They Get to Me in Time_

* * *

Steve wasn't sure how much time had passed. The days had all kind of run into each other since they had left camp. Judging by the amount of growth that was currently on his face he would have to say it was well over a week. He rubbed the rough hair and wondered what Danny would have to say about this look.

Thoughts of his lover had been at the back of his mind since their video call. The look on Danny's face right before they had hung up was…painful. As much as Danny liked to make fun of Steve for the faces that he made, the man had a collection all his own. Steve knew every one of them. The look he had when the SEAL had said he was leaving with no contact was one of suppressed fear. He heard it in his voice too. There were things that Danny had wanted to say but couldn't give voice to for fear of coming true. So he had just told him not to get himself killed in his typical irritated way.

'_I'm doing my best'._ Steve thought to himself. They'd been engaged in a couple of fire fights but the latest had been a close call. He trusted Beck and James in this kind of situation but a guy like Hughes was going to get them all killed. There was nothing more dangerous to a unit than a guy who was too young, too cocky and too unattached to understand that you don't go looking for trouble. Beck, James and Steve all had families to think about but Hughes supposedly had no one to miss him if he were gone.

Steve shifted around on his cot and tried to close his eyes again to get some sleep but he couldn't seem to settle down. Something was bothering him and he just couldn't figure out what it was. Realizing sleep wasn't coming anytime soon, he pulled Gracie's picture out of his pocket and stared at the crayon stick figures. He had missed a lot. To an adult, 6 months wasn't a big deal but for a child Grace's age it was an extraordinary amount of time for her to grow and change. Steve hoped she was doing okay. She was an extremely bright and aware girl who was probably the only person more in tuned to Danny's emotions than himself.

"I hope you're taking good care of your dad." Steve said softly to himself. "We know what a handful Danno can be when he's upset." He placed the paper to his lips and gave it a soft kiss before carefully folding it back up and replacing it in his pocket. He then patted it along with the other piece of paper that was kept there. It was a letter to Danny that he hoped would never have to be sent.

"Ah, I recognize that look." James said as he entered the tent. "You feeling homesick, bruddah?" Steve just nodded. "It happens to the best of us." He acknowledge, sitting down on his cot.

"Ya." Steve replied weakly.

"You look especially bummed. What gives?"

"I'm gonna miss Danny's birthday." James didn't answer right away. He'd heard Steve talk about Danny before and knew that he was his partner on the police taskforce back home but James had begun to wonder if there was more to their relationship than that.

"I'm not asking or anything…" James started, hoping that Steve would get where he was going.

"Danny is my partner...in every sense of the word." Steve admitted. He was tired of holding back on this and he trusted James.

"I kind of figured as much." James nodded, relieved that Steve had been honest. He could see that it was beginning to weigh on the Commander. "You know the politicians have said its okay now."

"Ya until they change their minds again." Steve scoffed. Just because he had told James didn't mean he was going to tell the entire Navy about it.

"It doesn't bother me bruddah."

"I know, I think Beck would be okay too but there are others... "

"Like Hughes?"

"...who might not be as accepting. Plus it's kind of personal... Why does everybody need to know my business? It doesn't affect me as a SEAL." Steve shrugged.

"It affects you as a man. You have somebody that you love and you can't talk about him or admit that you miss him. You're missing your man and you have to lie about it to make some other bastard comfortable. It's not right McGarrett." James said vehemently. Steve just kind of looked at him.

He had never kind of thought about it that way. Danny would tell him that he was never one to put much consideration into other people's comfort (to which Steve would just give him a look and Danny would look back and tell him to quit eye humping him at work...god he missed that). There was more at stake here in this sand pit. Back on the island nobody had thought twice about the fact that the leader of the 5-0 was in love with his 2IC but here it could have serious consequences that he wasn't willing to risk.

"It doesn't matter anyway. Telling everybody about Danny doesn't change anything. It doesn't get him the benefits he needs. He's a little girl that he's supporting not to mention taking care of all of our expenses and I know that's too much to handle on one income. My military pay isn't much but it's enough to help cover the bills...and if something should happen... He gets nothing. So great, the Navy says it's okay to be gay but they sure don't make it seem that way." Steve's tone was one of frustration and helplessness. James felt helpless too. Everything his friend had said was true.

"Man I wish there was something..."

"Hey don't worry about it. I'm not looking for pity or whatever. I knew this was how it was going to be coming into this. I just have to suck it for a few more months." Steve shrugged. "And can we not tell Hughes about this? Something tells me he won't be quite as understanding."

"Your secret's safe with me bruddah." Steve was just about to tell James thanks when they heard a sudden commotion and the night turned to hell.

* * *

The first thing that registered in Steve's mind as he came around was smoke. A lot of thick black cloying smoke. The second thing he registered was pain-everywhere.

_'That's a good thing though, right? Means I'm still alive.'_ He thought to himself. They had been sitting ducks. While he had been trying to sleep the enemy had been silently surrounding them waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Beck had received a radio call that one of their targets had been spotted just over the ridge. He had called out to Steve and James that they had to move out. He could remember putting on his gear and getting in the Humvee but after that there was nothing.

_'Damn, must have hit an IED.'_ He thought as he tried to move. It was now that he noticed that he was upside down. He tried to reach over to remove his seatbelt when searing hot pain coursed through his arm. He took a nervous glance down at it and sighed heavily when he saw it was still intact, bloodied but still intact. Swallowing the pain he tried again to remove the belt and this time succeeded. He dropped quickly, banging his head on the roof.

_'Way to go __Rambo_,' He heard Danny voice chastised. _'The belt was what was keeping you from falling on your head_.' Steve frowned and tried to right himself. He looked and saw beck lying next to him motionless. _'I shouldn't have let him drive.'_ He reached over with his good arm and tried to shake the other man. Beck groaned.

"You okay Commander?" He mumbled.

"Ya."

"The others?"

"Don't know yet." Steve managed to get himself onto his belly facing the backseat where James and Hughes were sitting...or at least where they were supposed to be sitting. Steve looked over at Beck who had also taken a look behind him.

"Commander, where's the back of the Humvee?" Steve looked back at the gaping hole where the backseat was supposed to be and saw flames instead. He looked back at Beck who shared his look of horror before he was overcome by darkness.


	10. Wishful Thinking

**Author's note:** I AM SO SORRY FOR DOING THAT TO YOU! I truly did not mean to put up that last chapter and then leave you all hanging, wondering if Steve was going to make it or not. That's just cruel of me. I unfortunately was out of town visiting family and my internet access was very limited. I tried to be as accurate as possible with this chapter but I also hold the right to have creative license so that's my disclaimer. Also, this chapter comes to you from 30,000 feet in the air somewhere between Atlanta and Chicago which i think is really freaking cool.

_Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you: when he's afraid of losing you."~ Anonymous_

* * *

Danny was doing his best to make sure that his wince looked like a smile. Kono and Chin were singing Happy Birthday to him in Hawaiian while Grace sang it in English. Together it sounded like garbled mess of words but they all had big smiles plastered on their faces so he tried to smile too.

"Happy birthday Danno!" Grace exclaimed when they were finished.

"Thanks monkey." He said, embracing her as she wrapped her arms around her neck.

"Blow out your candles and make a wish." She instructed him. Danny closed his eyes and let out a big breath. There was only one wish that he could possibly have this year.

Kono pulled the smoking candles off the cake and began to cut big slices. She and Grace had baked and decorated the cake earlier in the day while he and Chin had gone to the batting cages. It had actually been Steve's idea. He knew what it would mean to his partner and he had found a place that he had planned to take Danny to for his birthday. He had told Chin about it in a letter when he realized that he wasn't going to be able to take him.

Chin had been impressed by how effortlessly Danny made it look. He had commented on it and Danny told him that he had played in high school. There had some scouts that had wanted to sign him to a minor league contract until he blew his knee out on a play at the plate. When his baseball dreams had died he fell back on the old family job- police work.

It had made Chin upset at the time. His friend just could not catch a break in life. Every time things seemed to be working out for him life found ways to ruin it for him -baseball career ruined by a bum knee, a family ruined by failed expectations, a partnership currently ruined by a war.

He smiled at his cousin as she placed a hunk of chocolate cake in front of him and chuckled as he looked over at Grace. She had already dug into her piece of cake and was sporting a chocolate beard. Danny laughed too.

"You're supposed to eat it, monkey, not wear it!" Grace just giggled and continued shoving it in. Danny shook his head in defeat and was about to take a bite when he caught it out of the corner of his eye. Someone was making their way up to the door-someone wearing a Navy uniform.

"Steve!" Grace exclaimed. She had followed his stare out the window and seen the man approaching the house. She tried to jump over her father but he held her back.

"No, Grace. That's not Steve."

"Commander, are you with us?" Steve moaned in response. He tried to open his eyes to assess the situation but his eye lids felt like they had been glued shut. "Easy Commander, the anesthesia is still wearing off. Don't try to move your left arm. The doctor has you in traction to set the pins." Steve groaned again.

"How bad?" He muttered his voice rough.

"Your left humorous bone was shattered. The doctor had to clean out the bone shards and put in a titanium rod. You should regain full function but you'll be setting off metal detectors." The nurse explained softly. "You banged your head pretty good too, mild concussion. How's your hearing?"

"Fine. My team?" The nurse face fell a little and she placed a hand on his good arm.

"Lt. Beck has a broken leg, he's also in traction. Doctor says he'll have a limp but make a full recovery." She said, not offering anything else. Steve's heart raced a little.

"Commander James and Lt. Hughes?"

"I'm sorry, Commander. They didn't make it." She informed reluctantly. Steve threw his head back on the pillow.

"Damn it." He cursed.

"I'm sorry, Commander. Try to get some sleep while you've still got the good pain meds." She patted his good arm again.

"Has anyone informed my family yet?"

"I'm sure the Navy has sent someone to inform your family." She assured before leaving him alone. Steve took a deep breath. He knew that Danny would be relieved to know that he was alive but at the same time, he was going to be mad as hell to know he was hurt.

"What day is it?" Steve called out to her before she left the room.

"It's the 25th, Commander." Steve groaned again. "Are you in pain?"

"No…but I will be." The nurse gave him a strange look before leaving again. He muttered under his breath. "Happy Birthday, Danno."

Danny couldn't move. The Navy didn't send someone to the home just to make sure everything was okay. They only sent someone out when something was wrong…very very wrong. Kono abandoned her cake cutting duties to open the door.

"I'm sorry to bother you Miss, but I'm looking for a Daniel McGarrett?" The sailor asked politely. No one questioned the difference in last name. Kono looked back towards the kitchen where Danny was still sitting with Grace on his lap. Chin reached over and grabbed the girl so Danny could get up but he made no attempt. The Naval officer entered the house and stood just inside the doorway. As Kono led the man in to the living room, Danny felt Chin pulling him upwards.

"Come on, brah." He encouraged, though he knew it was the last thing Danny wanted to do. Danny managed to stumble his way over to the couch before collapsing down on it. Grace struggled in her 'uncle's' grasp as she tried desperately to get to her father.

"Gracie, go into the bedroom and play for awhile." He commanded.

"But Danno…." She whined. This man was here to talk about her Steve and she wanted to hear.

"Now Grace." He ordered again. Sensing the seriousness in her father's voice, she reluctantly trudged down the hall. Danny waited until he heard the door close before he turned his attention back to the Navy man.

"I'm Lt. Parker, the Governor has asked me to come and inform you about Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett." He said solemnly.

"Please tell me he's not…" Danny pleaded.

"Lt. Commander McGarrett is alive but he was involved in a roadside attack 2 days ago while en route to an assignment. He was seriously injured along with another member of his unit."

Danny stopped breathing. This couldn't be happening. There was no way that his nightmare was coming true. A roadside attack, the very thing that had been torturing his mind had come so very close to taking Steve away from him. He was paralyzed by fear. It weighed heavy on his chest, choking him. He felt like his heart couldn't beat correctly knowing that a piece of him was damaged-_broken_.

"How bad?" He managed to gag out.

"Most of his injuries suffered were to the upper body area. His left arm was severely damaged when the Humvee flipped over."

"Did he lose his arm?" Kono whispered fearfully.

"No!" The Lieutenant exclaimed. Danny swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat. "The doctor was able to repair the arm and he should be able to make a full recovery." Relief permeated the room.

"So what happens now?" Danny asked, finding his voice.

"Commander McGarrett will remain at the base hospital in Italy until he's stable enough to make the transport stateside."

"And how long will that take?"

"He won't be able to travel until his arm is out of traction which will probably be about 3 weeks." The Lieutenant explained. Everybody breathed a sigh of relief.

"Is there any way we can talk to him?" Danny needed to know. He would be completely useless until he could hear Steve's voice telling him that he was fine.

"The Governor has offered to arrange for you to travel over to the hospital in Italy and stay with him until he's ready to travel back stateside." Lt. Parker suggested. Danny could only nod in agreement.

The Lieutenant continued on for a few more minutes about other small details but Danny had zoned out. His mind was a foggy with confusing emotions. On one hand he was terrified that his Steve was seriously hurt. When he had originally left, Danny had sworn that if Steve had come back with even one hair on his head misplaced he was going to freak out. Now, as he had just blown out the candles on his birthday cake, he had simply wished for Steve to come home in one piece.

'_Close enough'_ He thought to himself. There was also another emotion that was tugging at him and helping to cause his confusion. There was this joyous feeling that he was sure couldn't be appropriate to have after having learned the man he loved almost died. But he couldn't help it. He was going to get to see Steve. After almost 7 months apart from each other, he was going to get to see him…_touch him._ It was something he had been craving since the day he left.

It was all of these confusing, conflicting emotions that he was struggling to contain in front of Lt. Parker. So he simply waited until the Naval office had left before breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.


	11. Meaning

**Author's note: **Well, I'm said to say that I think this story is coming to an end. There's only a few more chapters left to wrap everything up but don't panic! I have another story already in the works that is much happier! I don't want to reveal anything about it yet. Let's just focus on getting this one to a happy ending first, right?

* * *

Lieutenant Commander Emma Christensen was a career naval nurse. She hadn't intended to be. She had joined the Navy after high school as a way to get the college education that she was never going to get on her own. She thought it was a fair trade to give them four years of her time in exchange for the chance at abetter life. Emma had every intention of leaving after her time was up but after her first tour of duty, everything changed.

She had been deployed to Iraq during the first Gulf War. 21 years old and scared to death, Emma had sworn that she was going to get out and go to a nice suburban hospital where she didn't have to see men with severed limbs every day. Then one day, towards the end of her time there she met a young man who put everything into perceptive for her.

He was a Marine corporal, no older than she was. He'd been shot in the back by a sniper. The bullet had damaged his spinal cord and he would probably never walk again. She had heard him mumbling to himself as she was checking one of his dressings.

"_Are you alright, Corporal Jackson?" She asked gently after listening to his pained mutterings for a few minutes. _

"_I'm fine. I was just talking to my buddy." He responded. Emma grew concerned. What buddy was he talking about? There was nobody else in the room but her and him. The Marine reached up and tugged on his dog tags. "Corporal Alex Harris. We enlisted together, went through basic together, were deployed together and now…well, we'll be together in my memory." He explained. Emma looked at the dog tag that he was holding. One was his and the other belonged to said buddy. Corporal Harris's tag was dented and she was pretty sure there was dried blood around the edges._

"_I'm sorry, Corporal." She said sincerely. _

"_Don't be sorry. Every single one of us out there knew what we were getting into when we joined. We signed on the dotted line and vowed to give something of ourselves to our country…some just end up giving more than others." Emma suddenly felt guilty. She hadn't signed up for self sacrifice but rather self indulgence. She wanted a better life for herself and never thought about who was paying the price for it. "I was just telling Alex that I'd carry on for him and I would make sure that he didn't die in vain. That's all a lot of these guys want, to know that what they're doing isn't pointless. That it means something to someone."Emma swallowed the lump in her throat as she willed herself not to cry. _

"_What did you say his name was again?" _

"_Corporal Alexander Harris, ma'am." The Marine repeated and there was this knowing look on his face. _

"_I'll say a prayer for him." She said._

"_Not sure how much good a prayer will do him. He's with his heavenly father now. Just tell him thank you."_

Emma had done just that. After her shift was over and she returned to her barracks, she had laid in bed thinking about those two Marine Corporals and what she had been told. All these men and women wanted to know was that someone out there gave a damn about them and the sacrifices they made. After that night, Emma had vowed to become that someone. She had written down their names at some point in an attempt to not forget their names. Over the years, the two names had turned into a list of people who had somehow touched her life in the same way that Corporal Jackson had that night so many years ago.

Emma was getting the feeling that she was going to be adding another name to her list pretty soon. Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett had been placed under her care after arriving on a medical transport from Afghanistan. An IED had blown off the back half of the Humvee he had been riding in. The two SEAL's in the back had been killed instantly by the explosion, their bodies left almost unrecognizable. The front seat passengers, Lt. Commander McGarrett and the driver Lt. Beck were thrown a couple hundred feet in the air along with what was left of their vehicle.

Beck had a broken leg and a shattered pelvis from hitting the steering wheel. He was in for a very long and painful recovery ahead of him. McGarrett had a broken arm and collarbone from being thrown into the side of the Humvee. His humerus bone had been shattered from the impact and his collarbone snapped like a twig. Both men had gone through surgery at the base hospitals to repair the immediate damage and had then been placed on a medical transport to the hospital here in Naples.

Both men were currently confined to their own beds due to the immobilization of their injured limbs but they had been able to talk on the phone. She had overheard Beck's side of the conversation one afternoon while she was checking his dressings. He seemed to be trying to convince Lt. Commander McGarrett that he was a hero and had saved his life which the other man did clearly not believe.

"I'm telling you, if it wasn't for the Commander we'd have been have been flying back home in coffins with James and Hughes. I don't know how he got me out of there with his arm busted up like that but he pulled me out before the rest of Humvee blew up too." Beck had told her after getting off the phone. She had made a comment to McGarrett about it later on.

"Lt. Beck sure has some high praise for you." She said causally as she checked his vitals.

"Ya well I guess I'll have to take his word on it because I don't remember doing what he said." McGarrett responded and she could tell that he was frustrated by the fact that he couldn't remember.

"He's awful grateful." She added with raised eyebrows. The Commander turned away from her stare.

"I'm no hero. He was part of my team and I'd do anything for my team or my family." At the mention of the word family, his body sagged a little. Emma had been a nurse long enough to know what this meant.

"Have you called home yet, Commander?"

"Ya," He answered but she had a feeling he hadn't been able to talk to who he had really wanted to. "Do you know if they were able to collect anything from our camp?" Steve asked.

"I'm not sure. I could find out for you?" She offered. He gave a small nod. He was really hoping that he had not lost everything that the ohana had sent him, including his coconut and his pictures from Grace.

Steve was lonely. There were plenty of people that were in and out of his room throughout the day-mostly medical personnel but he couldn't talk to them. Their conservations were mostly one sided with him answering questions and listening to the doctors give him updates on the condition. He had no one to talk to-more importantly he didn't have anybody to listen to. It was times like this that he really missed Danny. His incessant rambling helped to keep him entertained and not worrying about whether or not he was truly going to regain full function of his arm.

"Commander?" Steve heard his nurse call back to him as she re-entered his room. "I wasn't able to find anything from your camp but I think I found something else of yours." She stood at the foot of his bed and smiled as another visitor entered the room.

"Danny!"

"Did ya miss me?" Danny stood there, rocking back and forth on his heels with his hands in his pockets and a great big smile on his face. Steve broke out in a big smile.

Emma stepped back from the other man and smiled as she watched them interact. These were the moments, watching a wounded soldier smile their first real smile again, that she couldn't help but thank Corporal Jackson for setting her straight all those years ago.


	12. When You Walk in the Room

**Author's note:** I think this is the longest chapter that I've written. The last chapter didn't have a lot of Danny and Steve interaction so this one is chocked full of it. There's a bit of a hint for the next story in this chapter. Also, I was re-watching "Heihei" again and did anybody else notice Danny calling Steve "babe"? He did it a couple times. I also love when he calls him "Steven". It's kind of adorable so I used it.

_I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. ~ Anonymous. _

* * *

"Danny!"

"Did you miss me?" Danny stood there, rocking back and forth on his heels with his hands in his pockets and a great big smile on his face. Steve broke out in a big smile too.

"I could ask you the same question." He asked as he saw his nurse silently slipping out of the room. He then heard the familiar click of the door closing.

Steve gave his partner a through head to toe examination. His eyes were bright but tired. His face looked recently shaved and Steve thought back to the conversation they had on the video call before he had left on assignment. He had kind of like the stubbly look on the other man. He also took in Danny's attire. Jeans, tennis shoes and a nice charcoal gray tee under a light blue pinstriped cotton button up. This was the semi-casual Danny. The Danny that he would take out on Saturday night for dinner and a stroll around the shops in town before taking him home and spending the night in each other times. This was his favorite Danny-and Danny knew it.

"Seriously? You're wearing a button up shirt?" Steve said incredulously as Danny sat down next to his bed. He couldn't resist teasing him even if that was his favorite shirt because it made his eyes unbelievably blue.

"Okay so I admit I wasn't sure what I was supposed to wear to a Naval hospital." Danny confessed.

"What? No tie?" Danny just gave him a look and kicked his feet up onto his bed.

"Well considering you're wearing practically nothing, now I feel slightly overdressed. You couldn't have put on a shirt or something?" Danny rambled like they hadn't spent a minute apart. Steve looked down at his surgically repaired arm and then back at his partner.

"I'm having a few problems with sleeves right now." He pointed out.

"Oh ya," Danny said dumbly. "I forgot you're the Bionic Man right now."

"What?"

"The Bionic Man? 'We have the technology, we can rebuild him?'" Danny quoted. Steve rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't hurt that bad." Steve commented seeing Danny's thousand yard stare at his damaged arm. \

"Do not bullshit me Steven. I am not some weepy wife who can't handle it. You told me in your first letter that you weren't going to lie to me then so don't start lying now." Danny said adamantly.

Steve knew he was right. Danny didn't like people to pacify him. He wanted the honest truth no matter how much it might hurt. Normally Steve had no problem giving it to him straight but for whatever reason he had developed this sudden need to protect Danny from bad news. He blamed it on being back in the military. He had to hide who he really was which meant hiding who Danny really was. They just needed to get back to the island where everything could go back to normal.

"It's pretty sore." He admitted. "They had to put in a titanium rod in."

"All the better to punch suspects with." Danny replied distracted. Steve watched him check to make sure the door was really closed before speaking again. "Why did you change my last name?"

"What?"

"When the Navy guy showed up at the house he asked for Daniel McGarrett. Since we are not married, that is not my name, yet the Navy thinks it is. Why do they think that?" Steve sighed heavily.

"I had to fill out my next of kin information and I was afraid if I used your last name they wouldn't contact you right away because they wouldn't consider you family. I put McGarrett hoping they would think you were my brother or something."

"Your brother?" Danny looked at him with raised eyebrows. Steve gave him a look of his own trying to get across his point that he couldn't tell them the truth. It took a second but Danny finally got it.

"Can I tell you how much I hate this?" He complained

"Trust me, I'm not any happier about it." The two men sat in wordless silence. All Danny wanted to do was curl up in the bed next to Steve and lay there next to him, feel his solid presence against him again. But it was too risky-too many unannounced visitors who would not understand.

Steve was in the same boat. He wanted nothing more than to just hold Danny's hand. A simple touch just to let each other know that-yes this was real, they weren't dreaming. After almost a year spent apart they were finally together in the same room, breathing the same air. It was torturous to be this close and yet still seem so far apart.

"How's everyone else doing?" Steve asked, breaking the awful silence.

"Chin and Kono were a little rattled at first- thanks for the birthday present by the way-" Danny said sarcastically referring to the unwanted visitor. Steve had the good grace to look sorry.

"I didn't plan it that way."

"You better not have planned it at all." Danny pointed a finger at him. "But as I was saying. Chin and Kono were a little rattled but they are just happy to hear that you're going to live and return to the 5-0. Grace on the other hand..." His voice trailed off and Steve winced. "She is not happy with me because I would not let her come with me. I told her she had to stay because she was starting her new school this week."

"New school?"Steve sat up a little, concerned. "What happened to the one she was at?" Danny opened his mouth to telling him and then decided against it.

"It is a long story that I will tell you letter, but that does remind me that I have something for you." He pulled out his cell phone and messed around with it for a minute before he handed it over to his lover. "Grace made a little video for you."

Steve looked at Danny and then back at the phone and pressed play. Grace's angel face appeared on the screen and Steve had to quickly blink back tears. God he missed her. Her soft voice quickly filled the room as she started to sing. He looked over at Danny who had put his head down but Steve could hear him sniffle. He sniffled too.

"_Bye Steve, I miss you. And remember Grace loves you!"_ Steve continued to stare at the screen long after it had gone dark and neither man said anything as they wiped away rebel tears.

"I want a kid." Steve admitted out of nowhere as he continued to look down at the phone.

"What do you mean you want a kid? We have a kid." Danny was taken aback. Where was this coming from?

"No, you and Rachel have a kid that you share with me." Steve reminded. Then he dropped his voice down. "I want you and me to have a kid." Danny just sat there, stunned.

"Well unless there's something you've failed to mention to me, that's not possible."

"Yes it is." Steve responded quickly. "There's adoption, surrogacy..."

"You've been thinking about this for awhile, haven't you?" Steve gave a non-committal shrug. "No, don't play coy with me. You've thought this out. Why bring it up now?"

"I don't know. I've always wanted kids I just never thought that I'd be living a lifestyle where I could have them and be the father I want to be." Danny looked around the room and then at his arm.

"This is the kind of dad you want to be?" Steve frowned.

"I'm not talking about right this very minute. But sometime in the near future, yes I would like us to have a family." He admitted. Danny looked at his lover and the hopeful expression on his face. He scrubbed a hand roughly over his head.

"I don't know Steve..."

"Will you at least think about it?"

"Yes, I will think about it." Danny agreed. The door opened again and the nurse from before reappeared.

"Time for you meds, Commander." She walked over to the other side of the bed and handed him a small plastic cup full of pills. Steve looked down at them and then back at his nurse.

"What's in here?" She sighed.

"Antibiotics, muscle relaxer, and pain killer. Same as it always is." Steve continued to stare at the pills but made no attempt to take them.

"Which one is the antibiotic?"

"Commander, you have to take them all."

"I'll take them, I swear. I just don't want to take the painkiller or muscle relaxer right now." He admitted. His nurse frowned and put her hands on her hips.

"Don't make me order you to take them."

"You're my equal." Steve quipped back with a smile.

"Doctor Neal isn't." She reminded.

"Uh, excuse me but maybe I could try?" Danny offered. The nurse looked at him and then back at the SEAL.

"Have at it."

"Thank you." Danny stood up and removed the cup from Steve's hands.

"I understand why you don't want to take these. We've been on enough meds to last a life time but there is a reason why this lovely nurse wants you to take them. It's for your own damn good and I swear if you don't take them I will shove them down your throat myself!" Danny shook the little cup for emphasis. Steve looked at his partner and saw that he was serious.

"They make me sleepy." He whined. Danny threw his head back and moaned.

"Oh Jesus Steve, is that what this is about?" Danny exclaimed. It made sense now. Steve didn't want to take the medication because he didn't want to fall asleep while Danny was here. "You can be really stupid sometimes. I'm going to be here as long as you're here so don't worry about getting to see my pretty face. Take your damn meds so you can get out of here sooner. Unless you want to stay in the hospital longer?" Danny shoved the cup back at him. Steve took it, looking sheepish, and downed the pills with a dry swallow. Danny smiled smugly at the nurse who didn't look quite as happy. She checked his vitals quickly before leaving them alone again.

"Will you stay till I fall asleep?" Steve asked hopefully.

"Of course." Danny said settling back into his chair. The couple sat there for awhile, talking about all the things that Steve had missed back home. It was so normal and comfortable that it didn't take long for Steve to slip off to sleep.

Danny watched him sleep for awhile. The even rise and fall of his chest gave him a peaceful feeling. This was what he had been waiting for. It would have been better if he had been able to touch him or feel him but he didn't want to be greedy. At least he still could. He had heard about the two other members of Steve's team that hadn't made it. He felt bad for them. It was unimaginable to think of what would happen to him if Steve was gone. For a long time Danny had thought that the only thing he had to live for was Grace. Then this Super SEAL barged his way into his life and heart and refused to leave. Now Danny didn't ever want to know what life would be like without him. They complimented each other in a way that seemed messed up and confusing to everyone else but it worked.

And now Steve was talking about becoming a family? Danny wasn't sure where that thought was coming from but he felt conflicted about it. He loved Steve. He loved Grace. He loved the two of them together. They were his family now. His ohana as Steve liked to call it. It was good for them. But he had never thought about him and Steve having a child of their own. Was it even possible? Steve had listed off options but it was one thing to talk about them and another thing to actually go through with them. All of the options had some definite negatives to them but the end result would be worth it.

There was also one other big obstacle that needed to be confronted. If Steve wanted to be a family, there was one big step that was going to need to be taken. One that involved two rings and a justice of the peace. Danny had sworn after Rachel that he would never marry again. But this wouldn't really be marriage right? It would be some twisted form of it but it carried the same implications. Danny sighed and rubbed a hand over his head. All this made his head hurt. He'd think about it later. Right now, his main focus was getting his lover back home where he belonged.


	13. Only Just Begun

**Author's note: ****sigh** This is the end, my friends. The last chapter. I've skipped ahead a little in time and it's a little bit of just random fluff but it's important fluff because it is setting up for the next adventure for our favorite pair! Most of you already know where I'm going with this. Please, if you are at all interested, keep your eyes out for the next installment. I hope to have in out within the next couple of days but I can't make any promises because unfortunately I am back in school so my time is consumed by homework again. I just want to say how wonderful all of you who reviewed this story and who added this story and me to their alerts. It is so encouraging to have support from people like you and I hope you all follow me on to the next one.

_Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?~Anonymous._

* * *

"I will not have your illegitimate child, McGarrett!" Danny randomly yelled as he clutched at the door handle as Steve took another turn on two wheels. He hadn't even been back to work two weeks yet but he was certainly back to his old ways.

"What?" Steve quickly glanced over at his partner before returning his attention to the road.

"If we're going to have a family, we're going to do it the right way. I will not have a bastard child." Danny expounded upon. Steve was bewildered. It had been almost three months since they had that conversation in the hospital room in Italy. He had asked Danny to think about the idea of having a family which his partner had agreed to. Steve just hadn't expected him to bring the topic back up while they were in the middle of chasing their latest suspect.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Steve scrunched up his face.

"Yes." Danny responded, never taking his eyes off the road.

"That was the shittiest proposal I've ever heard. And why are you telling me all of this now?" Steve questioned, taking another sharp turn.

"I wanted to make sure I said it before you get us killed with your latest half cocked plan. We can do sappy and romantic later, right now I just want an answer." Danny shouted, clutching at the dashboard now.

"Yes." Steve said.

"Yes, we'll get married?"

"Yes, I will make you Mrs. Steve McGarrett." Steve said with a cocky smile on his face.

"If you weren't driving right now, I would hit you so hard..." Danny warned, daring a glance as his partner.

"That's spousal abuse." Steve declared pointing a warning finger at the other man.

"Spousal abuse? Are you kidding me? You abuse me every day!"

"Not on purpose." Steve said innocently. Danny just looked at him. Steve gave him one of his bright smiles and Danny just groaned. He hated that smile. That smile never meant good things for him.

"Why would I take your name anyways?" Danny asked after a few minutes of silence. "Why wouldn't you become Williams?"

"Because you've been married before, you've already given your name to someone. I haven't." Steve explained like it was common knowledge. Danny scrunched up his in a mixture of confusion and anger.

"There's no rule that says that you can only give your name once." He shot back.

"You took my name before when I was deployed." Steve reminded.

"I did not have a choice in that matter. This is a completely different situation." Danny corrected.

"Fine, then neither of us will change our names." Steve pouted, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Now that's a passive aggressive answer." Danny frowned.

He wasn't sure how to explain where he was coming from for fear of hurting his partner. He really didn't have anything against changing his name from Williams to McGarrett. A name was a name and it wasn't like he had such a strong bond with his own family that he felt some kind of overwhelming pride by being a Williams. It was the social implications that came along with taking Steve's name.

As a cop, he used his name multiple times a day talking to witnesses and suspects. He signed his reports with it. He was referred to by other cops by it. And while it may have been shallow, Danny was afraid that if he took Steve's last name the other cops on the force would think that his partner somehow owned him and held the power over him. In short, he feared that people wouldn't take him as seriously if he changed his name.

Danny looked over at Steve who was staring impassively as he drove. How had his life taken this turn? A couple of years ago he was an average cop with a wife and a daughter in New Jersey. Now here he was talking about marriage with his crazy _male_ Navy SEAL of a partner and becoming a father once again in Hawaii. His life had done a complete 180 and somehow, he was perfectly okay with it.

* * *

Danny threw a shirt at Steve.

"So when are you going to get your tattoo fixed?" He asked. Steve looked at him oddly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your tattoo." Danny said slowly, pointing to his recently healed arm. "The doc really mangled it-"

"He was trying to save my arm. Pretty sure my ink was the last of his worries." Steve interrupted. Danny looked annoyed.

"I understand that. I was just wondering when you were going to get it fixed so it doesn't look like a jigsaw puzzle anymore."

"I hadn't really planned to fix it." Steve shrugged. Danny was right. His tattoo did look messed up with all the cuts and scar lines but Steve had been more worried about it being functional than being pretty.

"You're seriously just going to leave it like that?" Danny asked incredulously.

"Ya. Why? Does that bother you?"

"Yes as a matter of fact it does. Because every day I have to look at your arm and be reminded of the worst moment of my life. Every day I have to look at those jagged little lines and marks and think 'thank god it was his arm' and how close it could have been to your heart." Danny ranted and Steve could tell by the breathless sound in his voice that he was trying to hold his emotions back. He closed the distance between them and put his hands on his lover's shoulders.

"If it bothers you this much I'll go next Saturday and get it fixed."

"Next Saturday is no good. We have Grace and you promised her that you would take her swimming." Danny reminded. "We'll go sometime this week after work."

"We?"

"Don't get any ideas. I am not marking up my body. I just want to make sure that they don't make it look worse."

"Aw come one, you won't even get one with Grace's name on it?" Steve whined.

As Danny continued to argue with Steve about the reasons why he would never get a tattoo, he thought back to standing in this very room a year ago and having a very different kind of argument. Lying in bed that night, he wondered if his life would ever be this normal again. A year ago, he had been convinced that his little bubble of happiness was about to burst again. But as he looked at his partner and the new ring that had found its way onto his finger earlier in the evening, Danny realized that his happiness was only just beginning.


End file.
